she moves in her own way

After days spent trying to screw 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy on the keyboard, ('cause I got bored playing Amazing Grace bahhh), here I am trying to analyse, or maybe just cakap pasal the term almost lover. I'm currently following A Fine Frenzy on Twitter so ucaping her song sana can probably lead to some major issues with the greatest female singer/songwriter since Michelle Branch.

I bet a lot of people can associate themselves with the term The Ex. If you're an ex, then of course kamu ada an ex, or maybe someone you know is someone else's ex, or you know your ex is someone else's or catulah. I don't think a lot of people really have qualms about branding themselves as The Ex, noo, the right term will be 'awu, ia atu exku tu.' Dunno what it is about phrasing the sentence yang the other one is your ex rather than you being the other one punya ex, but maybe has a lot to do with people punya conception lapas listening to your sentence? Macam... if your sentence is ia yang your ex, and not you're ia punya ex, makes it macam you're the dumpee, and not the dumped?

Anyway. Not the point.

I take it almost lovers are orang yang should be jadi sama someone, but inda tia jadi, hence almost lover. Banarnya, the unspoken definition of almost lovers ani is one of the almost halves perasan yang something kan jadi, but then banarnya nada anything kan jadi. Hence, almost lover.

Which is why banyak orang inda mengaku any relation whatsoever to the term almost lover. Not as banyak as people admitting relation to the word the ex.

Imagine saja.

"Aku almost sama si tut."
Meaning: Ia add aku on MSN, Facebook, Twitter, subscribed to accountku arah YouTube and selalu forward emails arah ku sooo. Means something jua tu, inda kan?

"Kakaku sikit lagi sama si tut atu."
Meaning: Kakaku kana bawa meliat wayang oleh that guy sekali pastu ia perasan that guy suka ia pasal tangan durang tekana masa ngambil popcorn.

"Anakku duiiii kan bekawan sudah tu sama anak Hjh Tutt ahhhh~"
Meaning: Anak Hjh Tut beraya sekali ke rumah ku lapas atu salam tanganku.




Conclusion is... almost lover ani is the definition of perasan.

Correct me if I'm wrong :)

And pinjam cakap the guy friends, andangnya bini-bini selalu take the smallest things and stretch it to mega proportions, so the slightest hint of friendliness is suddenly to bini-bini the start of something new? (No jokes bout HSM, please)

But don't put all the blame arah bini-bini. If laki-laki yang labih friendly, bini-bini mana jua inda flattered and perasan (and record every detail of every encounter of any kind and report back to the base i.e girlie convos with the girlies and then the girlies define them as being the start of something new)? And then find the need to write a song about it?




I still love the lagu all the same. Ganya it's the realisation bit yang ruining it sikit, but oh well.

I don't know if ani jet lag, or maybe aku luan pikirkan pasal si chiao cakap if tidur at 12 and bangun at 12 is bukan jet lag therefore aku nada jet lag, but last night aku inda dapat tidur berabis. Like, siuk pulang if aku liat MJ's memorial service, 'cause I'm not usually one to miss things cematu, but then there I was, forcing myself to sleep, tossing and turning and trying on the other adiks punya katil and trying to baca buku and listen to lagu whatnot. Last-last, aku bangun at 5 like everyone else in the house.

I'm so glad aku tinggal di Brunei and bukan macam di negeri lain yang if blogmu bida there's a huuuugggeee chance someone else in the country ucapkan blogmu, complete with screen shots of blogmu, edited here and there to liatkan the bidaness of your post or layout or muka. Well, maybe ada pulang some orang di Tamoi or Temburong ucapkan blog ku kali, entah I wouldn't know, but then at least aku inda tau. So for this I'm berabisly grateful pasal I like and love my blogging style masani thank you very much.

Life has been uber uneventful lately, save for the 16-ish hours on the plane, wonderful experience shared with a Somalian/Sheffield guy of my age and an Indonesian woman who can't seem to keep her minuman in her cup. Annen aku balik tarus mau the nasi ayam di airport punya restaurant place (airport cafeteria?), but then nada so makan the chicken porridge saja. Annen ada si rabi and izzy and ziqah loves pasal durang dapat drive sudah jumpa aku di restaurant ah hehe thanks kamu.

Sakit jua telingaku dangar urang wondergirls punya suara ani eh. Banar, if kaki durang inda miles long ani ah, and durang inda pandai nari wearing 5-inch plus stilettos, batah sudah aku macam eurgh bida. But then durang pandai nari and betch long legs so yeah.

Baby just say yes.

I need to habiskan this self-quarantine whatnot. Saturday then abis tia, but then start the work attachment, which is thank god di MS, so I can antam everyone else punya car haha nadawah.

Tidur bah tidurrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway.

Banarnya I don't really have anything smart or pandai to type or blog about, I just love hearing the clackity-clack of the keys of this laptop when I sort of touch type, or type laju-laju, whatever you call it.

Am currently very much in love with Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester punya 'Good Girls Go Bad'.

Wana once made a comment about her blog looking a lot like my blog pasal she posted some pics of the Pretty Ballerina flats yang she discovered di Berlin. Btw wan, I found the kadai, will bring you there next time, and bila kau kan ke rumahku ani, boring ku, at least quarantine sama-sama lah. And hari atu the flats ada sale and sekajap atu ada di House of Fraser woohoo, sudah time lain inda tia sale.

Anyway. Banar jua ah. Like, when I first started blogging, I blogged about rajin poklens flipping the kuih melaya di pasar, and pasal random but uber lawa movies macam 'surat untuk bulan', and pasal tons other things yang not as glamorous as Chanel bags but definitely lagi eventful and in a way more intellectual dari bags and shoes. But now...

Entah, kan cakap this is part of growing up and maturing whatnot, then if you're moving away from blogging about the meaningful but unnoticeable bits of life and moving on to blogging bout Birkins and Bayswaters (bag, not place), then that's obviously not maturing but dumbing yourself down. No matter how many times Vogue tries to convince you that yes there's something smart and wise about spending US$7000 for a Birkin

wait where am I going with this

Is it just me or Birkin atu looks a lot macam one of the Mulberry bags?

ANYHOO. I'm losing it. Everything, like the willingness to write about useful things. And I'm losing my knowledge of my audience. Macam, not everyone knows apa Birkin or Alma Vernis or 2.55 or whatnot.

Can't wait to keluar rumahhhhhhhhhh. The sisters cakap aku living in a rut (living like a rut? bimb talk) cause all I ever do is vegetate on the couch and watch tv or go on youtube or tweet or read archie comics.

10.20 pagi, and I have lessons in one hour's time, but aku malas berabissss. Alum mandi, alum makan, semua barang ku everywhere alum abis packing and I still don't know what to do with my books. Aku sasak packing berabisly, if dapat pay people to buat barang untuk aku, jangan tah pay them to be my date or supir or personal shopper, jadi tukang packing barang saja.

Then again, if orang lain packingkan untuk aku, inda tia durang tau which junk to taruh and which to buang. And I love my junk.

Seriously, you never know, that bubble wrap might come in handy. Wrap them around your fragile perfume bottles, around your finger in case kamu takut luka or something atau untuk pakai main latup-latup on the plane.

I can't believe I'm leaving shrews isuk. 10 months mannnnn. 10 MOOOooooonnnnnnTTTTHHHSSSSS. 10 months spent in four different rooms. Going through different seasons. Banarnya I'm really proud of myself for being able to tahan this 10 months. I mean, kalau dulu, nada lah aku kan setaie jalan seorang anywhere, apa lagi kan seorang ke london, seorang ke hudds, seorang ke this and that. And then nada aku kan mau makan seorang di bonda but then now mana saja lah. Eyeah.

I find monthsaries vomit potential berabis. Anniversary, that I can understand and respect. But monthsary? Paling aku bleurgh, weeksary. Weeksary! Macam, bila kamu kan couples' counselling, after three weeks? Please lahhhhhh, sadang-sadang jua eh.

But hey, what do I know. Maybe months atu pun kira batah sudah. Months will seem batah if kamu the kind of couple yang tiap minute tiap second mesti ada si him or her. Months will seem sekajap if kamu yang whatever mana saja tia si him or her.

Packingkan tah untuk aku please.

Best time in shrews?
Hmm. Awesome reports :) Dinner and hanging out with the other Bruneians, 'cause at least durang paham jokes ku, well, not always, but yeah. Boring though 'cause kami always have to balik awal and run back. Main snow was siuk. Badminton, 'cause si anak besar selalu berijap ketawa and aku selalu bising everytime ada wrong shot or something. Sometimes the putihs siuk jua, masa durang mabuk sal cali haha.

Worst time?
Bayar school bill first term! Eurgh aku sasak. And aku inda suka masa sebilik dengan si bahas, but strangely enough ia baik masani. Kan jadi postor kali ia. And aku inda suka time exam, 'cause stressful berabisss.

Most cherished barang bought this year?
Padar, of course :) The AH bag is favouriteku jua, but I didn't buy that one so... entah ah. Padar kali lah.

Barang paling aku regret bali?
Burberry bag, but oh well, sling bags do come in handy sometimes.

Barang paling aku mau for next year and will save up and not buy anything else for?
If I say the Chanel 2.55 then aku deserve a tampar tia 'cause then I won't be able to makan or anything for 3 months. Nuhh, not the Chanel, atu sudah keraja tah. LV punya alma vernis yang merah, but LV bida tia. Maybe VW's bowling bag, atu murah lagi. MM's tote kah, or Chanel tote quite okay. Entah eh. Mubin, help :D

EURGH LESSONS.

Macam. How are you in tagalog.

Aku bored berabis. Spent the entire day mentalling pasal aku kan cari this song yang si lawa nyanyi for Shrews ada talent, sekali unknown berabis the singer nada turn up arah youtube, wiki, not even imeem. Sekali rupanya the song atu is a hidden track, as in ada this track lain, sekali abis but then tarus sambung with the far from home song. CLEVER BOYYYY.

Aku banci sangat, did my first ever cover and the song is yang atas ah, sekali inda dapat upload cause blogger vids punya limit 100 MB. WHAT. Anyway, maybe to save kamu from suaraku. SHEESH.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JATIIIIIIIII!!!

Usually aku jahat post bida pictures of people for their birthday post sini, but aku inda tecari gambarmu horror lagi, so here goes. Even the font is purple you see. Besides, kau ingat gambarmu horror yang bangun tidur di Japan aku pakai sudah last year haha. Lubbs you jatijati, see you sudah balik karang!


Annen hari atu, on the 25th of June, Michael Jackson died pasal supposedly cardiac arrest. To be honest, I'm not macam a major die hard fan, but I did grow up listening to most of his songs and scandals so it's going to be kinda weird not having him around, and I was actually looking forward to hearing all the gist about his last concert. Ani last tia banar nah. So yeah, rest in peace Michael Jackson, She's Out of My Life is still one of the greatest ballads ever.


Sekali apa lagi ah. Oh yeah, Shrewsbury's Got Talent is finally overrrrrr, and yeah I think it went well, not like MP-well, but it was two girls antaming things well. I must say, conducting activities here is sooooo lain dari conducting things back at home. Selalunya every protocol mesti jaga, mesti ada backdrop, mesti ada guest of honour, mesti ada proper program, mesti ada penyambut tetamu, but sini main antam pun jadi jua, but of course the event's not as lawa as the Brunei ones.

And then lusa ada this thingie, some guy from Oxbridge (went to Oxford but is now in Cambridge) coming in to give mock interviews and tutorials for tujuh of us, but the thing is, aku baru tau like kemarin. PWISH. Si cigu hottie idolku maybe inda sayang aku lagi, so yeah. Now I'm stuck in this mad limbo, trying to cramp in everything I possibly can pasal Lawrence and Woolf and Wharton and old Will. Mati ku.

Bah I'm off now, intellectual housewives desperate for the slightest hint of freedom and fit coal-mining husbands to attend to.

My room's a mess. All my books are strewn across the room, and there is suddenly no status difference between Virginia and Vogue. I've spent the entire weekend vegetating on the couch in the tv room, watching every DVD there is in the house, ranging from Pygmalion to How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days to Sweeney Todd.

Today's Father's Day, so happy father's day, papito! I know you're a man of very few words, except when it comes to explaining things, complete with your enthusiastic hand gestures, so thanks pa for always being there for me!

Today is also the day of the summer solstice, as is every other June 21st. This didn't use to matter when I was in Brunei, 'cause sama saja the hours of daylight and darkness. I woke up awal this morning even though it's a much-awaited Sunday, but as soon as I saw how bleak and gray the day looked tidur tia ku balik sampai noon. So much for being the longest day of the year, maybe ia longest pasal the sun spread ia punya power evenly to last sampai 10 pm. (HEH? I know, bimbo comment awaiting attack from pandai vultures.)

Today jua, a girl died in Iran masa one of the many protests. No need to explain further about the current state of Iran, but I was shocked amat when I read all the Tweets about the death of an unknown girl after being shot right through the heart, while participating in the protest with her father. Her death was caught on camera and is now being heavily viewed arah YouTube. I'm not sure if the video is something that I will want to watch, especially not tonight, 'cause I'm a walking PMS waiting to explode, side-effects of boredom and repeated oh-what-am-i-still-doing-here-all-i-ever-do-is-watch-dvds-and-stuff-my-face-with-junk. And I've just finished watching Sweeney Todd and Saw V so yeah. Besides, the death of a girl next to her father, ON FATHER'S DAY?

Don't think I can stomach that.

Her death is nothing short of being tragic and regrettable, but sometimes, the loss of one life is possibly, erm, well, there's no other way to say this, but it's probably necessary to show the world the graveness of a situation and to make them see and as a result, react accordingly. There's more to us girls of the world dari kami punya girlie tendencies and mood swings. Anne Frank, Mukhtar Mai and now, the still mysterious Neda.




My two cents worth. Penny still standing even after like, four days now. And I didn't even dirikan the penny on purpose. Sorta just... happened.


Cha butchesssssss.

R.M is tingle tingle little sar hohoho admit it I'm so cali betchesss.

I is bored. Very very.

I suppose I should keep on reading, but melatup kepalaku bah mun banyak baca pasal urang dulu-dulu in their corsets and carriages ani. I've finished reading all my orang masani books, and trashy romance novels ani boring mun baca balik-balik pasal aku tau what happens next tia, ke rumah siapa ia next, baju apa ia pakai next or inda pakai hoho. Laptopku masih betrojan, but alum ku antar arah si IT pasal I still need my Princess Hours. Virusnya ani cali, nya Jidah inda bagi rosak laptop, ganya ia annoying, and banar! Hari atu, asal aku Google something up, and sudah takan arah the results, kana direct ke website lain. Mun website Chanel 50% mana saja, ani yang lain-lain. Yang. Lain-lain. Gets?

And then masani, the Google okay sudah, but sometimes ada bunyi ads keluar entah dari mana, and inda dapat tutup pasal, well, inda tau keluar dari mana. Sekajap, bunyi kerita. Then ada tia "TWIX!" Tadi, bunyi chipmunk. Hari atu, family planning. EURGH. MUN BISNIS KAMU INDA LAKU, JANGAN BAZIR USIN BUAT VIRUS. Inda jua ku dangar bah advert kamu ah, pasal aku dangar suara si top hohoho.

Oyaa, kemarin birthday si this willy wonkaaaa.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DILLLLLYYYYYY?

Haha, happy birthday Tigger, may kau happy always and dapat orang korea or something, and Aminnnnnnn kau dapat semua A stars for exams and masuk awesome uni and go shoppppp!!!

AKU KEBORINGAN.

Boring. Nada keraja. Baca buku, cuci baju, trying to pack, trying to abiskan bali barang for loverlies back home, youtubing (but 3 ku abis and since kan balik can't be bothered to top up but aku mau youtubinggggg) and trying to feed my withering brain with pandai news stuff.

Saw this pic arah papers today pasal the Uighur captives di Guantanamo finally enjoying their freedom di Bermuda, makan ice-cream and jalan-jalan. Google them for more info. Basically, they were previously detainees di the prison di Guantanamo for really sekadar reasons, well, not so sekadar, but they're no longer a threat, but lakat lagi kana tahan. Sekali now the government of US relocate durang ani ke Bermuda to start over durang punya lives.

Value of life. Some people handal banar yang they can claim and do as they please with people punya future. Inda jua ada ia kenal urang tu di Bermuda atu. Well, true, asal inda dalam penjara, but still. I'd rather see them kana balikkan ke tempat durang than having to submit to other people getting rid of them and trying to make it look like they're doing them a favour when durang yang bagi taie to their lives in the first place.

Speaking of future, two-thirds of the students who will be applying for uni next year, MY YEAR, NEARING OH NOOOO, will not get the clearing chance thingie. I don't really know apa the clearing thing is, but it basically means yang if you can't meet the grades requirement from the uni yang sudah bagi conditional acceptance to you, then you get into the clearing bit and masuk some other uni yang sanggup offer tempat. Well, yeah, apparently they're going to do less of that next year, and also be less lenient to students yang can't meet their grades requirement. WHAT. And uni entrance makin competitive and our year's going to be the worst pasal some surveys said so.

Spankin.

Kem's still on my list, but I'm less keen on it now that the exams are over and reality is determined to keep slapping me across the face with my books. I'm okay with all the other unis. UCL! Will probably love and hate that place. Warwick is a must, 'cause I love the course long time. Comparative literature, you say? Compare sama Malay. Then there's Durham, which is probably my fave among the five chosen unis. Haven't been there, but the pictures and people punya feedback bout it sounds awesome, and besides it's the best uni for Engrish. Haven't decided on my fifth uni yet, berabisly torn between Leicester (ABB for English, plus cheap rumah), St Andrews (lawa, good for English but four years bui) and Edinburgh (four years as well).

What else ahhhhhhh.

Oh yeah. Can someone please tell me cemana kan inda mengantuk saja ani? Aku tidur awal berabis, like 11, and bangun around 7ish, sometimes 6 if I have to wash my hair. But I still find myself nodding off during lessons. I think pasal makin panas pastu drowsy pastu tidur.

In desperate need of people to talk about books with. Aspiring English teachers, Bruneians studying E Lit, Hawaiian hula dancers who enjoy reading when they're not shaking that thang... I holler.

I've finally figured it out.

It's not the postcard-perfect but dead town.

It's not the stupid weather.

It's not the lack of Bruneians.

And it's definitely not the school.

It's the way no one shows any respect or regard for anything you try to do.

My MP years are way behind me, but I know for a fact that those were good years and that many good things were produced and conducted. Sure, they weren't without flaws, but at least you weren't judged by how you are but by what you do.

I'm stuck with doing this event, 'cause some iski putih girl, who actually knows nothing about what she wants to do and is only good at slamming ideas down and sounding shet enthusiastic but nevertheless naive and clueless about how these things work, wanted to do it.

The cigus in charge are, sorry to say, nothing compared to cigu harisah. At least she knew what she was doing. Ani inda, cigus so pessimistic about every single thing and everything comes across as being a problem. And she's never around.

And all the other putihs are firing ideas at me, but none of their ideas are worth taking into account. I'm up for constructive criticism, but it's not constructive if all you're doing is shooting me down with suggestions but not willing to offer any help.

EURGH.